Another Day, Another Dumb Field Trip
by Red Witch
Summary: A trip to a colonial village is a drag for both Misfits and XMen, until of course the Misfits decide to have some fun of their own.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Evolution or Joe characters has taken off on a trip somewhere. I just felt like doing another fun silly Misfit fic. And what's wrong with that? On second thought forget I asked…**

**Another Day, Another Dumb Field Trip**

"I can't believe Charles let the kids talk him into another dumb field trip," Logan grunted as he walked along with Hank, Ororo and Warren. "What a waste of time."

"Field trips provide a welcome break from the regular routine of academia," Hank said. "Stimulating the students' desire for knowledge in an environment outside the classroom."

"It also gives the school a break so we can get repairs done and air out the place," Logan remarked.

"Look, I admitted my classroom experiment with making stink bombs went a little awry," Hank glared at him.

"A **little**?" Logan looked at him. "Beast, Charles' bedroom now has a skylight! And all he needs to do is look down so he can watch what's going on in your classroom! Not to mention that toilet still stuck in the ceiling!"

"All right, in retrospect maybe I should have known that Tabitha's and Amara's powers may not be the best catalyst for scientific experimentation," Hank admitted. "But I am not the one who set off those stink bombs in the boy's bathroom."

"No, but you are the one who said and I quote: 'Fascinating: I did not expect such a reaction. Let's see if what happens when we do it in the Danger Room'!" Warren looked at him.

"Well the Danger Room was overdue for a good cleaning anyway," Hank snapped.

"Will you knock it off?" Ororo snapped. "We will have enough problems overseeing the children without you acting like them!"

"Ye Olde Towne Tavern? There's a **bar **here?" Shipwreck shouted. "Well see you in a couple of hours!"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT POP!" Althea grabbed his ear and dragged him away.

"I can't believe we're stuck with the Misfits again," Logan groaned.

"To be fair we are using their Mass Device as transportation," Hank reminded them. "Naturally they wanted to come along to Massachusetts with us."

"We didn't have a choice! Nearly the entire town of Bayville has banned us from everywhere else!" Logan snapped.

"Not only Bayville…" Warren groaned. "I think nearly every museum and amusement park in the entire state of New York has us on a black list."

"Especially after the John Baystone House incident," Ororo sighed.

"The what?" Warren asked. 

"It was before you got here," Hank sighed. "We thought it would be a good idea for the kids to visit the house of the town of Bayville's founder."

"So that's how it burned down," Warren blinked.

"To be fair the judge clearly stated there was no proof that we started that fire," Hank said. He looked at Ororo. "Even though it was hit by lightning…On a clear day."

"Look if Shipwreck hadn't…" Ororo began.

"Never mind!" Warren groaned. "Something tells me I'm better off not knowing!"

"Hey Storm, why did we come here?" Lance asked as the X-Men and Misfits looked at the entrance. "I mean a colonial village? This is so boring! I mean who cares how a bunch of old white guys lived and how bad they had it?"

"Lance it's important to know how our ancestors lived," Warren said.

"You mean **your **ancestors," Forge corrected.

"Yeah intolerance, persecution of those who were different and rich men running everything while women and the poor got the shaft," Althea said. "We've come a **long** way since then!"

"You know some places they **still** burn people at the stake?" Kurt grumbled. He had his inducer turned on even though none of the Misfits were hiding their true forms. "Trust me, I have the nightmares to prove it!"

"Why couldn't we have gone back to Epcot or something?" Pietro asked.

"Yeah and those people liked us!" Todd called out.

"Of course they did," Warren said. "They thought we were part of the entertainment! Look this is an important part of American History. Places like this are where the first Americans…"

"The first **white** Americans…" Spirit corrected.

"The first settlers came to find freedom," Warren went on.

"Yeah the freedom to trash our land and steal it from us!" Forge called out.

"It's a cornerstone for freedom and liberty," Hank went on.

"Yeah whoop de do," Jesse said. "Not for **my** people! We had to wait about a century for that! And even then we had to wait over **another **century to be able to use the same bathroom as everyone else!"

"Boy's got a point," Roadblock said. "This is a depressing joint."

"Yeah the Puritans' idea of fun was not letting other people have any," Angelica said.

"All right we all agree that this idea blows," Low Light said. "But a day out is a day out! So let's try not to set any fires here okay?"

"Why are you telling **us** that?" Amara folded her arms indignantly.

Everyone looked at Ororo. Ororo pointed to Shipwreck. "Don't look at **me!** **He **starts everything!"

"Why don't we take the tour and just try and enjoy the day, okay?" Roadblock asked.

"As long as I'm with Ororo here," Shipwreck leered.

"I wonder if those stocks still work?" Ororo muttered.

Soon they managed to find a tour guide, a plump woman wearing a traditional colonial outfit who led them through the town. However it was apparent that many of the other visitors were staring at the group. "Why didn't you guys wear the inducers the Professor offered you?" Kurt hissed at Xi and the other Misfits.

"Hey just because you have problems with the way you look," Spyder began.

"Maybe we should have taken them," Lina was uncomfortable with some of the stares people were giving them.

"Lina they would have recognized the rest of us anyway," Althea told her. "Besides it's good for you to accept yourself as you are."

"Yeah you wanna spend the rest of your life hiding like the Elf here?" Todd asked.

"Right now hiding sounds pretty good to me," Amara groaned as another tourist gave them a dirty look.

"Just behave yourselves for once okay?" Cover Girl snapped.

"Cover Girl even if we burned this place down it still would be boring," Pietro said.

"Yeah well you're lucky nobody caught you making those X-rated shapes with wax back at the candle making building!" Wanda hissed in his ear.

"This from the girl who hexed the mayor into the well," Pietro snickered back.

"In the first place, he's not the **real** mayor," Wanda bristled. "He's just an actor. Besides I didn't like the way he was leering at me."

"Stop it!" Ororo had overheard their conversation. "Just try to act normal for once in your lives!"

"Ha," Lance scoffed. "Yeah that will work! Why don't you tell **him** that?"

"Avast ye comely maidens," Shipwreck was hitting on two actresses in colonial gowns. "Would thoust liketh to hang around with a real man?"

"Would **you** like to hang from the gallows?" Ororo grabbed his ear and dragged him away. "Now if only I could find some gallows…"

"This is the Governor's House," The tour guide led them into an old building. "Where the leader of the colony lived. Note the carving on the table there. It is a peace pipe given by the chief of the neighboring Indian tribe. The Indians were the ones who taught the starving settlers how to live off the land and thrive in the New World."

"Worst idea ever," Forge quipped. "Boy did **that** come back to bite us in the butt!"

"These pictures on the walls are some of the men that were important leaders of the colony," The Tour Guide continued.

"Hey is it me or does this guy here look like Freddy?" Arcade pointed to a picture.

"Yeah," Todd said. "It does! I mean take away the mustache and the wig and the funny hat and that's Blob yo!"

"Well he is quite handsome," Fred admitted as he looked at the picture. "Maybe he is a relative?"

"Let me see," Jean looked. "Wow…That does look exactly like you Fred! Who was he?"

"That was Governor James Frederick Dukes," The tour guide said. "He ran the colony for exactly three weeks and two days before he left office."

"What happened?" Kurt asked.

"According to the records he stole from the town coffers, ate half the food in the storehouse, set fire to the schoolhouse, beat up the minister and had affairs with half the married women in town," The tour guide said. "Not to mention there were rumors about him and a farm animal."

"Yeah that sounds like one of my relatives," Fred admitted. "What happened to him?"

"He fled the colony with three of his mistresses, 200 dollars in gold and a stolen pig named Lucy Belle before he could be tarred and feathered by the townsfolk," The tour guide said.

"Wait! Was the pig's full name Lucille Magnolia Belle?" Fred asked. "Because I think I know where she was buried! Back on my family farm! Or at the very least where they put her bones after she was smoked."

"Moving on…" The Tour guide decided to change tactics. "Let's explore the history of the house…"

"When are we going to learn about the weapons systems?" Rina asked.

"Weapons systems?" The tour guide blinked.

"They must have had them to defend a city this large," Rina said. "And this house was important. They must have had a security system."

"Kid it was in Colonial times," Logan told her. "They didn't have security systems. They had guns. **That** was their security system!"

"Don't forget dogs," Fred added. "And the well trained goat."

"Goat?" The tour guide asked.

"Don't ask," Lance moaned. "**Please** don't ask…"

"I'd never heard of a security goat," The Tour Guide said. "Is that possible?"

"She asked…" Lance winced.

"Oh my family's trained them for years," Fred said. "We started out with pigs and chickens but…"

"The family kept eating them…" Lance, Todd, Wanda, and Pietro said at the same time with Fred.

"Let me guess," Scott looked at Lance. "You've heard this story before?"

"Oh yeah…" Lance sighed.

"The Dukes clan has always been a crafty bunch," Fred said proudly. "In fact almost every Dukes home has a secret room or secret passage. Where is it here? I can't wait to see it."

"Sir there is no secret passage here," The Tour Guide said.

"If my relatives lived here, there must have been a secret passage," Fred adamantly proclaimed. "Trust me on this."

"I can assure you that no one has ever found a secret passage here," The Tour Guide told him.

"Well duh," Fred said. "Because it's a secret! It's just a matter of finding it. Where's the kitchen?"

"The most obvious choice," Ray rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe people actually lived like this," Roberto remarked as he looked around.

"And people say Nova Roma is primitive," Amara remarked. "At least we have plumbing!"

"Sir, please stop tapping on the walls!" The Tour Guide asked Fred, who wasn't listening.

"Okay this place is Dullsville," Pietro whispered to the Misfits. "I'm taking off!" He zoomed out before anyone could say anything. None of the X-Men or adults noticed.

"I shall explore myself," Xi said as he turned invisible.

"Oh great…Hey, where's Dad?" Althea looked around.

"He must have sneaked out to the bar with your sisters," Todd said. "I saw them sneak out earlier."

"Great! No way **I'm** staying here while my Dad and sisters run amok," Althea grumbled. "Come on guys!"

One by one the Misfits snuck away. Except for Lina and Fred. They were too busy looking for a secret passage. "I know its gotta be around here somewhere!" Fred insisted.

"For the last time there is **no** secret passage way!" The tour guide snapped.

Fred leaned against the wall. "WHOA!" The wall crumbled and he fell in through the hole.

"There is now," Kurt quipped.

"That hole is a little too big to be a secret," Remy remarked.

"YOU WRECKED THE WALL!" The Tour Guide screamed.

"Big deal," Tabitha yawned. "Like he's never done it before!"

"Yes I think that…" Hank looked around. "Has anyone seen Shipwreck?"

"I don't see the Misfits either," Jean noticed. "Oh no… They didn't! I can't believe they ditched us!"

"I can," Rogue said. "I wish they took us along!"

"Great! The Misfits are on the loose!" Scott threw his hands up.

"Yeah…Let's go check the bar," Roadblock ran off quickly.

"And people make jokes about drunken Indians!" Spirit grumbled as he went after him. Soon the other Misfit adults had taken off.

"Um, we'd better go after them…" Lina gulped and grabbed Fred's hand. "Come on Freddy!" She pulled at his arm.

Fred allowed her to lead him away. "Oh okay…Hey maybe we can get a better view from outside!"

"All right who saw that coming?" Logan sighed.

"What? Blob making a mess or the Misfits and Joes taking off?" Bobby asked.

"Both!" Ororo groaned.

"We'd better go after them," Logan sighed. "Dibs on the bar!"

"You would take that," Hank looked at him.

"I mean to search it! Although I admit a drink would be good right about now," Logan sighed.

BOOM! BOOM!

"What was that?" Amara shouted.

"It sounds like the cannons!" The Tour Guide gasped.

"And they're off…" Scott sighed as they all went outside. "What the…?"

"Who let all the sheep loose?" Someone shouted.

"BAAAHHHHHH!" The sheep ran wild through the town.

"THE TOWN SQUARE IS PURPLE!" An actor screamed. Indeed several houses were freshly painted purple. Some had yellow polka dots as well.

"GHOSTS! GHOST!" One man shouted. "SOMETHING INVISIBLE ATE ALL MY COOKIES!"

BOOM!

"Cannons are fun!" Trinity shouted happily.

"YOU BLEW UP THE MILL!" Someone screamed.

"No just the water wheel thingy," Daria corrected.

"People are so uptight," Quinn said.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Pietro zoomed by. He put some dresses on the male actors.

"That's it!" One actor snapped. "I'm not getting paid enough for this! I'm going back to working at the sewage plant!"

"Honk! Honk!" Several geese ran by.

"Hey! Come back!" Todd chased them. "I only wanna be your friend!"

"You kids better knock it off!" Warren shouted.

POW!

"BUCK-KAWWWWW!"

"Hey guys! Low Light just shot a chicken!" Todd shouted.

"It was an accident!" Low Light snapped as he showed them an old musket. "These things are not reliable!"

"Told you your aim was off," The Blind Master held a musket of his own. "This is how you do it."

"NO!" Logan shouted. "EVERYBODY DUCK!"

POW!

"QUAAAACK!"

"He got the duck," Scott remarked. "No wait, he just winged him."

"Everybody drink!" Shipwreck walked around with two huge bottles of beer and was chugging them.

"Okay X-Men you know the drill," Logan sighed. "Grab a Misfit or a Joe and let's get the hell out of here."

"Well at least one good thing is coming out of this," Forge remarked. "We'll never be able to come back here again!"

"If there's anything left to come back to," Scott groaned.

"I'll grab onto Stormy here!" Shipwreck leapt on her and gave her a sloppy kiss.

"SHIPWRECK!" Ororo screamed, unable to take any more.

"Oh no this is gonna be the Baystone House all over again," Logan winced as he saw the storm clouds move in. "And they say history never repeats itself!"

CRACK!

"Yeah there goes the rest of the mill…" Scott winced as he saw what the lightning hit. "Looks like we're gonna get blacklisted from all the parks in Massachusetts…"

"If this keeps up we're not gonna be allowed in any state!" Hank rolled his eyes as Ororo chased Shipwreck around.


End file.
